What happens in Counselling? and how do I work?
What happens is Change, and how I work is to follow you the client so that the change flows from you from your own vast internal untapped resources.
So what is changing? Inevitably your relationship with yourself.
So am I as the client doing all the work? The short answer is Yes.
However on the surface at a conscious level it may well seem it is me who has his sleeves metaphorically rolled up.
I am in this relationship with you. Together we are exploring different perspectives, how internal and external behaviours and thoughts impact on your well being. In essence what’s useful, what’s not.
What your emotions, feelings and sensations are trying to convey to you? What strategies you are using to protect yourself? What is your body trying to tell you?
So the task is to help bring clarity, shine a light on what is going on for you at a deep level? Once that has been identified and illuminated it is a process of integration with you steering, controlling the pace and the direction.
As human beings our prime hard wired defence mechanisms, are denial, repression and suppression. These defences are in short term useful coping crutches, long term they can become habitual and do not serve you as well they might. So we look at how and what we want to do with them.
We are always on a journey, knowingly or not. The object of the counselling journey is conscious personal development of and for self.
Herewith some quotes which speak to me I hope they say something of use for you.
- “Depend upon the Rabbits foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.” — R E Shey
- “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” — Eleanor Roosevelt
- “If your compassion does not include yourself it is incomplete” — Jack Kornfield
- “the risk of being fully human today brings with it the promise of a vibrant tomorrow” — David Mearns, Brian Thorne
- “I believe that the very purpose of life is to seek happiness” — His Holiness the Dalai Lama
- “…only through becoming “vulnerable” can you discover your true and essential invulnerability.” — Eckhart Tolle
- “Whatever your age, your upbringing or your education, what you are mostly made of is mostly unused potential” — George Leonard
- “The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice…” — R D Laing
- “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” — Marcel Proust
- “I began to understand that to have faith in oneself and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.” — Michelangelo
- and finally a brief extract from a Sally Brampton book entitled shoot the damn dog - a memoir of depression - “The best therapy seem to me to lie in being understood, or in sharing with another human being our most unmanageable emotions. The central idea that we are all fragile, faulty and flawed in some way, that no single one of us is exempt from difficult feelings is, for me, the most reassuring form of therapy, and the best and most precious communication of them all.“
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